Booting Your Computer

Q: What does it mean to "boot" your computer?

A: Booting a computer is a simple procedure that's performed when it acts up. Let's say it's the 20th time in an hour that Windows has locked up. You simply lift the computer up at about chest-high level and drop-kick it. It doesn't always fix the problem, but it does tend to make you feel a little better.

The term originated from the old west cowboys. Their computers (running Win 1870) would often cause them no end of grief and would be riddled with thousands of triangular dents produced from the tips of those boots they wore.

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Found in: alt.humor

somethings

A Microsoft Joke

There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10m visibility when his instruments went out. So he began circling around looking for landmark. After an hour or so, he starts running pretty low on fuel and the passengers are getting very nervous. Finally, a small opening in the fog appears and he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. The pilot banks the plane around, rolls down the window and shouts to the guy "Hey, where am I? To this, the solitary office worker replies "You're in a plane." The pilot rolls up the window, executes a 275 degree turn and proceeds to execute a perfect blind landing on the runway of the airport 5 miles away. Just as the plane stops, so does the engine as the fuel has run out.

The passengers are amazed and one asks how he did it. "Simple" replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100 percent correct but absolutely useless, therefore that must be Microsoft's support office and from there the airport is just a while away."